Jet set go!

The 1900 jet employees are finally in and the real truth behind why jet airways chairman Naresh goyal reinstated all the 1900 employees within 48 hours is out . "I've not been able to sleep all night" said apologetic goyal but didn't reveal that his change of heart was the result of bizarre dream in which he found himself aboard on one of his 9W flight from Delhi to Mumbai.

As his flight took off Goyal found himself sitting next to a foreign passenger who said " I understand you are the boss , but how could you sack your employees ? do you know what it mean to be laid off? ask me!!"

"Who are you ?" goyal asked "Guy ritchie, Madonna's ex-husband . you know why she divorced me? she said US is down and she had to cut her losses!" Goyal assured him that cabin crew will attend to him immediately. "what cabin crew? They all jumped off the plane as soon as you sacked them , including the pilot"

Goyal rushed to the cockpit and found it empty . "Damn my management, " he grumbled. He opened the emergency exit , jumped out and landed in mumbai , where he was surrounded by sacked employees who threatened to form a political party "And we'll not allow any flight to take off until jet is spelt in Sanskrit!" Goyal immediately called up his kingfisher partner Mallya who advised "I just have one solution.I'll feature some og them in kingfisher annual calender and the rest as IPL cheer leaders "

A frantic goyal prayed to God. Katrina kaif appeared before him! "I'm God " she said "Haven't you seen Hello??"Not that i could help the film! but i have told chetan bagat to name his new book as '4 mistakes of my life!'

Thats when Goyal woke up in a pool of sweat and took the momentous decision of reinstating his 1900 employees!!!

phone kyku??

Well well...there is another addition to the cellphone family which does everything except washing your dishes and clothes...It has been named as I-Phone..Btw...this post is not about i phone...as it is expensive and i can't afford it..Besides from the time i have shifted to Dadar I'm having enough troubles wit my cell phone and my reliance land line , both which have turned me lazy anti social..!!

According to sources on march 6 th 1876 Alexandra Graham Bell called to his assistant Watson in another room "come here Watson...i want you.." But instead bell encountered Watson's answering machine in other room "sorry , Watson cant take your call because he is wit sherlock homes"

Thats precisely the problem with phones. You never get to speak to the person you want to.Either you speak to an answering machine , a servant or a reply saying "this phone is not available/busy...please try after sometime", or a wrong number...All these were problems that Bell didn't encounter.He was just happy that he could call up his friends without having physically venture outta his house.But talking to someone without actually meeting is where the telephone made us lazy..Because once we got tired of actually going from kitchen to bedroom to answer the phone some lazy guy invented the cordless!! More ambition led to cellphone, which could be carried to bedroom to bathroom via kitchen!!!And for the ever lazier ones who had bad PJ's , god created sms...which butchered the Queens language in to series of abbreviation like this
"Red 2days col??"
"itz rbbish"
"btw, tis writr suksss"

'BATMAMMA'

Batman maniac is still on......and so as my posts for this katharnak movie...but this time with a sarcastic touch. Batmans momma is very angry with him! It has been widely reported that christian bale(batman) was arrested in london after his mom accused him of assaulting them .Sources said that this happened as soon as she watched the new Batman flick.No wonder this film is called "The Dark Knight" "They kept you in the dark and made the joker steal the show !".

Batman's relationship with his mother declined espicially when she discovered that her son goes out in the night dressed as a bat and jumps off buildings. It all began when she woke up one night and saw her son dressed in black leather. "Arn't u supposed to wear white uniform?" she asked & where's your bat?? , i thought you were a batsman.. And where are you going at this hour?" shez persisted. "why dont you go to sleep like most of the boys do? will u be eating out or i keep dinner for you? and what should i tell your friends if they call up ? That you have gone for a fancydress competition......and why are you dressed like a bat ?? why not like a parrot??...By the way your popularity has also declined in orkut...All my friends use joker as their profile picture"

A few days later Batman found himself in embarassing situation when his mother asked "who is this robin ?why do u meet him only at night??" Then one day batman couldnt find his bat suit "I have put it for a wash" said his mother.......

But one night Batman lost his cool when his mother not only mocked about "The Dark Knight "but also insisted that they migrate to India "Its time you found a real job" she said "why dont you become a politician in India? All you have to do is topple government , disrupt parliment sessions , and give speeches . All u need is a gift of gab and thousand morons as followers who can easily provoked to go on a rampage and vandalize public property!! Stop wasting time being a Batman!!!"

why didn't batman kill the joker??

After the fabulous review about "THE DARK KNIGHT" by my friend rajiv , i indeed agreed last evening that the movie is simply fantastic .As the movie concluded i ,like others had the million dollar question in my mind "why didn't batman kill the joker??"Even Heath Ledger's joker in The dark knight marvels at batmans refusal to kill him.After all the joker is a murderous psychopath , and Batman could save several innocent lives by ending his miserable existence once and for all.Of couse, there are plenty of masked loonies ready to take the jokers place, but none of them have shown the same twisted devotion to chaos and tragedy as clown prince of crime

Pop culture , such as batman comics and movies provide an oppurtunity to think philosophically about issues and topics that are paralled to real world. For instance thinking about why Batman has never killed the joker may help us reflect on our issues wit terrorism and torture ,specifically their ethics


so what was the reason behind Batman's quandary?? one , while it may be preferable for Joker to be dead, it may not be morally right for any person (like Batman) to kill him. If the joker is to be punished is should be through official procedures ,not vigilante justice.More generally,while the joker is evil , he is still a human being and is thus deserving of at least a minimal level of humanity and respect

two, Does batman want to be the kind of person that takes his enemies lives?? If he killed the joker , would he be able to stop there, or would every two bit thug get the same treatment??

while there are good reasons to kill the joker in terms of innocent lives saved , there are also good reasons not to kill the joker , based on what killing him would mean about batman and his motives mission and character. Batman often says the same thing when asked why he hasn't killed the joker :"I don't want to become that which i hate".

so in one way batman and joker help us focus on key topics like torture terrorism and can only help refine our thinking.And batman would definitely approve of that.....

Not without papa

Every night as a child(in fact even now) , i waited for my father to come say goodnight to me.I would hear him as he moved around the house switching off the lights ,shooting the bolts.It was as if to make sure that he had barricaded his family against burglars and every venomous creature that inhabited the planet earth.

If mother is the one who taught me how to love and be loved.....its from my father that i learn t to be generous ,sharing and being disciplined...I think of how my father liked to take me for long scooter rides... Most Sundays ,we would ride a long way to monda market and return in time for breakfast..we seldom spoke;the breeze would have snatched our words anyway.My father seemed to need those little excursions more than i did.stifled by the routine of the everyday,he seemed to need to breathe.......i always as a child thought that 1 day i would work in his office...sharing the same desk carrying each others tiffin boxes.....I always want to understand how he became a perfect husband he was,and how he knew to be the exemplary father...did it come to him naturally or did he have to work hard for role playing?how did he know that he needed to give us a chocolate bar eat time we went to a kirana shop.

what went on his mind as he was teaching me maths so as to complete my homework? what was he thinking every time he took the ball so that i can bat? was it his chance to be a boy again? or was it merely helping his child who stared at odds and ends and bawled "what can i make with this?" The most precious moment with him was when he hit me once for being too naughty.That was the first and the last time he hit me..but that was when i realized how much he loved me.

When it comes to our parents especially father , i think even the most spirited amongst us turn in to arch conservative. We view them with uncompromising eyes that would make most perfect of gods flinch.Fragility ,vulnerability are what others fathers may be guilty of...Not ones own..... Happy fathers day papa....

Rice and Fall

Done with my 45th exam in engineering....oh sorry 1 KT ....so that makes it 46.....3 more left!!!!! holy shit......i have learnt 49 subjects in 4 yrs of engineering..............but still a master of none...really sounds weird.........but thats the fact about indian (or precisely mumbai) engineering system.....
So the IPL season is on and the king of good times is really having his bad days(must have had his last laugh yesterday!!)......Banglore RC has been giving slepless night to Vijay mallaya...So came the sacking of the team CEO Charu sharma. Charu must have got a brief letter of termination saying "Dear charu, ur sacked!! i made a mistake of hiring u......i thought u were a woman......i wish u were mandira bedi"

Y leave the captain.....mallaya must hav summoned him "you betrayed my trust.....i know they call u a wall!!now dont make me humpty dumpty who sat on the wall. If u gys cant play i've a better option." He reached out for a kingfisher 2008 calender and pointed to the bevy of beauties on it. Dravids jaws dropped "these models?, u must be joking! they dont have statistics to play 20-20.."Mallaya said "Have u seen Deepthi gujral? she can float on water!And therez preeti desai..Can u imagine wat will happen if she comes out to bat?..most bowlwers will loose their rhythm and bowl enough wides and no ballz to giv u a mammoth score of extras!And i bet my entire brewery on any fielder who will be able to take his eyes of these babes and take a catch and stop the boundary...!"

Wen dravid reluctantly agreed to mallaya's new strategy,the king took the captain for a drink.Spotted at the pub was bare chested sharukh khan,entertaining his team ,and saurav showering money on him.Dravid pointed to mallaya and said "i bet u cant be a boss like him!!" Mallaya immediately took of his shirt and flaunted a 6 pack of king fisher super strong lager strapped to his waist."I CAN DO BETTER!!!"

Salaam Mumbai

They say....therz no place ,which remains fit to return to-unchanged,unflinching,static...What we left is left behind..what we return to is always something more or less wat we have left behind......

As in my last few months in mumbai(hopefully not..) ,i realise this is not the place i wish to leave....Instead of writing a full farewell piece it could hav been easier to provide a short bibiliography about mumbai.....if u hav already read shantaram &maximum city u'll know wat i wanted to tell about mumbai but couldnt.....mumbai is a collection of thousand epiphanies enmeshed in one...set out to discover a new eatery today and u'll find the best one right next to your building which u have never seen before...

Mumbai has the worst cabbies anywhere with the best drivers.The buses are best maintained,with least number of travellers and the trains that make mumbai run are made in kolkatta!!!(need not write more on local trains as i have already dedicated a whole post in my previous blogs...)..Parties serving smoked salmon and single malts will also have in its menu an item song by rakhi !!!Apartment kissing the skies are as ugly as Jurassic reptiles ,menacingly lording over crawling newborn slums...

My most pleasant experience in mubai was this.......i had ordered a band for my spects from the cities famous spects shop...weeks later someone called to say that the band id ready......and what i all got is a band tht i hadnt ordered at all......disappointed i walked back home...there it was!!!!i found the band i wanted in the roadside shop casually lying between other funky bands ........and tht too for half its original price.........

Mumbai is at its best when some one tries to play pranks with it.......like the rain gods on 26th july ..........never expected a cup of tea and a packet of "parle biscuits " in the flooded bus at 1 am !!!Thts how the mumbaikaars are......tackle ny situation with immense control and ease .....

they say its the spirit that keeps them going.....Its just that u hav no choice but to keep going fair or foul.....hope u have a gr8 days ahead mumbai.........take care :D

Seeking pongal

belated happy new year ppl......i know...wishing this in the festive season of pongaldosent sound gud.....but spare me....the credit goes to my xams for my delay.....i was on a dating spree for 2 months wit my so called engineering books......and all thanks to mumbai university.....they plan our xam timetable as if they are plannin a holiday for us!!!

Once in a year at the crack of dawn ,the lanes in hyderabad(thts where i was 4 yrs back) provide a setting for a very special south indian festival(tamil festival to be precise).Braving sleep and winter chill ,scores of people step out in bare feet carrying earthen pots and bundles of juicy sugarcanes..The pot filled brim with pongal(rice and dal) are placed on a flame in front of hindu diety ..As the pots overflow and invocation to be almighthy merge with joyous ulutations of people...

sankranti or pongal .....thts wat this festival is called...which falls on tuesday with gutso..i was one who stayed in largely tamil populated area in hyderabad...and now in mumbai where ppl really have no idea what pongal is all about....i just started missing all the festive environment... ....waking up at crack of dawn in this harvest festival ,seeing dozen of "tamil mami's " in the kitchen,seeing the "mama's" tryin to get there pattu veesti's on , teenager girls to show off their new pavadai thavani and a great time for me to appreciate all the ‘beauty’ on the earth .,and waking up all my cousins and frens for a session of kite flying ......these are the fond memories i still carry along with me......And now i wake up in this harvest season to see ppl on their usual run and my neighbour askin wazzup today???

This harvest festival marks fulness ,plenty and prosperity ......if the pot dosent overflow....then this isnt pongal......wishing u all a very happy pongal....

Our Christmas!!!

ah haa........got my blogs safely from the clutches of blogger.com.......guess wat .....ma blog was kidnapped by the "blogger" .......reported as spam.......verified for 3 days and now proven that i am innocent :)

nyways gettin back to christmas....The festival that belongs to all of us.......Centuries may have gone ,and times may have changed but the christmas spirit thrives....There may be no snow in mumbai for santas sleigh or chimneys for him to slip down ,but ppl of all religions still hang up their stockings and they get filled.....

There has been a christmassy feel everywhere...

Christmas does not belong to christians anymore...from being a religious festival ,it has become one celebrated with gutso ,by everyone ,every religion..Of course, the festivities are less about religion fervour and more about havin a goodtime...

Red is the color of the season....nd if u wanna know why, visit any mall or the traffic signals.....therez no mall where u dont find a 'santa' or a traffic signal where the christmas caps are not sold.......Even the mannequins in leading stores have donned the red outfit......

So why has christmas become universal while other festival has not taken off the same way???? ppl are invited to comment on this.......but way i feel about this is firstly ,what everyone celebrates is christmas in its most commercial form rather than in religious sense.......like many of us(including non-christians) like gettin a cake with lip smacking toppings on it.....secondly ,christmas helps everyone connect to the global community....most of all christmas gives the feeling of being more inclusive than many other festivals.....

its a nice feeling that this kind of secular idea is taking root everywhere...may be something is right with this world after all......Merry christmas!!!!

Alibag

Back from peace.....and now got to carry on with my usual stuff........doin this for gys who were wondering/demanding what i was up to this weekend........and for those ppl who wanted to explore this peaceful place ,especially made by god to celebrate weekends.......

Alibag ....thats the place i am talking in fact writing about.......Not a huge tourist spot....but a place worth a watch ..........Its a small seaside town located about 100 km from mumbai.......and getting there hardy takes an hour and a half.....such a peaceful place that even ur mobile network corporates with you.......

Didnt really face any problem getting there.......this is wat i hav done with my camera!!!

Gateway of India:Thats where the ferry originates every hour



The ferry that carried me safely to other side of the sea

See whom i hav encountered!!......Thts the Indian Emperor....ship to England

Mandwa port:thts where the ferry terminates......45 mins from Mumbai and about 13 km from Alibag....a bus shall bring u to Alibag

Accommodation isn't a problem if ur goin on a weekday........but u need to be lucky like me to get one on weekends......If ur really looking for a break ,prefer a cottage instead of a lodge or a resort.......there r plenty of cottages available with reasonable rates...

kihim beach:never seen a beach with very few ppl..

alibag fort:(kolaba fort):now this is something unique......have u seen a fort surrounded by water on 4 sides..........this is it........this fort can be visited only during the low tide........i.e from 12:30 pm to 5 pm .u can walk up to the fort or the horses (tongas ) are available which takes a lot of beatings to take u to the other end.....

The fort during the low tide

a view from inside the fort





birla mandir.....pic not available as we wern't allowed to click pics in the temple......its bout 20 km from alibag ......u got to go through hell before reaching this heaven........the roads r sick without street lights...... but this temple is different from other birla mandirs ..a greener and the majestic one i have ever seen....



karigiri: place where hand mand sculptures are made....

it is not THE END.........leekin pics abhi baaki nahi hai mere dost........thts all i could do in a day!!!!!!